White Cards:

A 13-hour clock.
Remembering when there were only 151 Pokemon.
A brain from someone named "Abby Normal".
People who walk out of the theater before the credits are over.
Altering the timeline.
The Amazon reviews for the vibrating Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broomstick.
Having an emotional affair with animated gifs of Tom Hiddleston.
The questionable hairstyles of Babylon 5.
The babe with the power.
Movies that are so bad they go right past good and into bad again.
LARPing in a basement, again.
A bigger, blacker hole.
Blank.
A female superhero with a strategically appropriate amount of body armor.
Grown-ass men and women hitting each other with padded swords.
Princess Leia's boob tape.
Brain slugs.
Coming home to find the charred remains of your aunt and uncle.
Trading on cheap nostalgia.
The Christmas episode.
Your first one-night stand at Comic-Con.
The comments section.
All that crazy troll strength.
Cruft so complicated it accidentally becomes A.I.
Deleted scenes.
"Don't Panic."
The Doom Song.
Doritos and Mountain Dew.
One-star reviews of Bram Stoker's Dracula.
Draculas and Frankensteins.
Trying to eat like a human while wearing a corset.
A quiver that never, ever runs out of arrows.
The evil you from an alternate universe.
Ferocious, spear-wielding teddy bears.
Confidently walking away from an explosion without looking back.
The fake English accents used at Renaissance Faires.
A fandom tattoo that only other fans will understand.
A second season of Firefly.
A rare first edition.
Something that can fit on a single 3.5" floppy disc.
Handing out free samples of deodorant at Comic-Con.
Authentic frontier gibberish.
Full of cats.
"Game over, man! Game over!"
Arguing about how to pronounce GIF.
Gluing some gears on it.
Wishing goblins would kidnap your baby brother.
A very groovy mutation.
"Hail HYDRA."
The character you hate to love.
Head pigeons.
A demon with a heart of gold.
Another day living over the Hellmouth.
The delicious irony of filling your DVR with episodes of Hoarding: Buried Alive.
The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.
People who call HTML a "programming language".
Huge… tracts of land.
Realizing that Facebook, IM, and texting are your new definition of "human contact".
Using an instagram filter to make your good, expensive camera look like a cheap piece of shit.
A majestic score by John Williams.
Lack of adhesive ducks.
Trying to explain your LARP weekend to your coworkers.
A leaf on the wind.
Internal logical consistency.
The character you love to hate.
Playing the Macarena on an ocarina.
Casting Magic Missile at the darkness.
When another movie studio tries to copy Marvel's success.
David Bowie's mooseknuckle.
Mudder's Milk.
Multiple pairs of goggles.
A very special musical episode.
Mass times acceleration.
Reading out loud from a Necronomicon.
NERD RAGE!!!
A nice personality.
White Wolf's Noun: The Verbing.
The fine line between fandom and life-destroying obsession.
The evacuation of Earth-That-Was.
Gwyneth Paltrow's head.
Peeling off the plastic.
Not a good enough reason to use the word "penetrate".
Feeding unruly servants to your pet monster.
The machine that goes "ping!"
Plot holes you could drive a truck through.
An ancient book, full of prophecy, about you.
"@!#?@! Q*bert."
Actually playing Quidditch for real.
An enormous green rage monster.
The rebellious clone.
Hitting "refresh" just, maybe, one more time.
Salting your doors and windows, just in case.
Emergency saucer separation.
The cheerleader who saves the world.
The scene after the credits.
A TV show that slowly declines in quality until you're glad to see it go.
Being the smartest person in the room.
The way glasses make you look smart instead of blind.
A high-functioning sociopath.
Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.
Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam, Spam, and Spam.
The special features.
The inevitable hilarious cameo from Stan Lee.
Realizing that every episode of Star Trek: TNG is just a bunch of committee meetings.
Subreddits.
The physical suffering we endure for cosplay.
The horse is a surprise.
The airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.
Synthehol.
The Alien Hidden In The Incubator.
Nikola Tesla's intense love for a pigeon.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….
People who think The Onion is a legitimate news organization.
A Three Wolf Moon t-shirt.
Time in a bottle.
A genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist.
Too many villains in the sequel.
Cross the Ts and for the… lower case Js.
A series of tubes.
A hundred Tuesdays in a row.
A vampire with a soul.
Volts divided by amps.
A wafer-thin mint.
My wayward son.
Joss Whedon one-liners.
Playing Frisbee like the Winter Soldier.
A company of lawyers that is somehow more evil than regular lawyers.
Yelling at the screen because that's not how it happened in the book.
Young Earth Creationists.
Qualities that other humans find desirable in a sexual partner.
The Yub Nub Song.
Rob Liefeld's inability to draw -feet- people.
A sci-fi movie full of supermodels.
Con plague.
Running away to Mars because you're sad.
No capes!
An eight-year-old girl, in the middle of the ghetto, this time of night, with quantum physics books.
Stan Lee's love of alliteration.
The frankly ridiculous number of superheroes living in New York City.
A superstitious, cowardly lot.
A more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Legless Lego Legolas' Lego lass.
A crazy random happenstance.
Another S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier.
That ludicrous display last night.
Making it weird.
Referring to oneself as "oneself".
Alan Moore's beard.
Luigi's death stare.
Going viral.
The RC helicopter kiosk at the mall.
Not the bees! Not the bees!
Netflix pausing mid-binge-watch, just to check if you're still awake/alive.
"I am Groot."
Pretending you know something about sports.
A traditional English trifle.
Reasons.
Stalking celebrities via Twitter.
Playing video games with the windows open, because it's a nice day.
Suddenly needing to know the plural of "apocalypse".
Understanding the reference.
Button mashing.
When your favorite show kills off your favorite character.
NPCs that only exist to tell the party where to go.
All the fictional mothers who had to die for the sake of back story and character development.
People who are obsessed with Frozen and really need to just Let It Go.
That pushy Microsoft Word paperclip.
Trying to find your glasses while blind from lack of glasses.
The woefully lax security at Arkham Asylum.
The virtual parade of characters who have been in the Batcave.

Black Cards:

No one believes I'm really allergic to ____________.
What's with all the carrots? What do bunnies need such good eyesight for anyway?
Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're ____________.
She's a witch! She turned me into ____________!
I only seem socially awkward because of ____________.
I missed most of my senior year with a bad case of ____________.
The best/worst thing about Tumblr is ____________.
____________, still a better love story than Twilight.
You wouldn't be so brave if you'd ever smelled the Bog of Eternal _______________.
The Captain's last words were: _______________.
The last time I was away, my coworkers filled my office with _______________.
Damn it, Jim! I'm ____________, not ____________!
I had no idea demon hunting would involve so much _______________.
Intergalactice diplomacy only goes so far. Sometimes you have to use _______________.
I can't believe they approved my doctoral dissertation on _______________.
Whatever you do, don't ever, EVER read _______________.
I suspected the mayor might be evil, but I wasn't sure until he turned into _______________.
_______________, does exactly what it says on the tin.
I'm getting sick of having to explain _______________.
I filled my hard drive with pictures of _______________.
The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to _______________.
The Internet is for _______________.
_______________? _______________? A Jedi craves not these things.
Kneel before _______________!
Lonely nerds: Be lonely no longer, thanks to _______________!
Mangalores won't fight without _______________.
Good morning, I see my ____________ has/have failed.
What's the worst thing nerds have to deal with?
I won't be bullied again, now that I have _______________.
The best thing about getting a new computer is _______________.
I may not be great at sports, but I am amazing at _______________.
Older nerds spend most of their time on _______________.
Believe it or not, there are people who think the Internet is _______________.
What is your biggest nerd pet peeve?
What is your quest?
We'll be the first historical reenactment group to reenact _______________.
Resistance is _______________.
Rule 34 is always true, no exceptions, not even for _______________.
My next project will be a 1/6 scale model of _______________.
I should have known better than to engineer _______________.
Given enough time, even the best TV shows will resort to _______________.
In the 24th century, all spacecraft will be equipped with _______________.
I thought I'd seen everything, until the aliens showed us _______________.
First we lost power to the engines, then we lost _______________.
I'm not a violent person, but I will throw down if you badmouth _______________.
What is thy bidding, my master?
You must be truly desperate to come to ____________ for help.
You'd be surprised by how much overlap there is in the Venn diagram of _________ and ____________.
First hipsters stole our glasses, next they'll take _______________.
What's in the box?
Why did it have to be snakes?
You won't believe what came through the wormhole…
My senior year, I wrote "_____________" in everybody else's yearbooks.
Video games don't make people violent. A far more common outcome is _____________.
 I haven't forgiven George R.R. Martin since _____________.
The hammer is _____________.
What do you burn, apart from witches?
I threw my controller at my TV because of _____________.
Why will you get locked up in Litchfield Federal Penitentiary?
When you stare into ______________, _____________ stares back. (Same card for both.)
______________ called. They want _____________ back.
______________ is the new _____________.
Aliens have actually refused to invade Earth for years because of _____________.