WHITE CARDS Never without my permission Network Protocols The quadratic equation. Privacy Settings. Big Bada Boom. The Cantina Band The toxic, plastic smell of burning Vader. A big black hole. The blue canary in the outlet by the light switch. Bad guys with British accents. Accidentally polyjuicing yourself into a cat furry. Cat 5 cable. When the cat steals your dice, again. Chewbacca's barber. Children who solve crimes and fight monsters. A lethal child assassin. Crudely rendered CGI. The Chain of Command. Getting into her Chamber of Secrets, politely. Christina Hendrick's epic prow. Clerks 5: We Thought We'd Have Better Jobs by Now. The commentary track. The Cumberbitches. A marathon D&D session. Clickbait headlines. The contractors on the second Death Star. CTRL-ALT-DEL. Cumming out a window. A computer virus that lets you know it's ion progress with a zany graphic. Telling the villain you're onto them, and then expecting nothing bad to happen to you. 21 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Buzzfeed. Being completely prepared for several different kinds of zombie apocalypse, but totally unprepared to live in actual daily reality. Wizard Swears. Going to the diner at 2AM. The Wilhelm scream. The song of my people. Festive sombreros. Zoom and enhance. An arrow to the knee. Crossing the streams. Boiled leather. Nicholas Cage's face. Preferring the Weird Al version of most songs. A wedding band that all has crossbows for some reason. Being eyed suspiciously for wearing a black trench coat. Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. Twincest. Utini! Waif fu. A seemingly endless barrage of virgin jokes. Triangle Man. Particle Man. His Noodly Appendage. Going to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters. Reluctantly handing your glasses over to yet another asshole who "just wants to try them on". The skill and patience required to paint miniatures. One million likes on Facebook. Dot Matrix. Felicia Day, the Queen of the Nerds. The myth of the fake geek girl. Fake binary. The droids you're looking for. The vast, yawning emptiness of space. Being beheaded in front of your children. Before the dark times, before the empire. Batbat, a bat that dresses like a bat and has all the powers of a bat. Arguing over the results of a Mythbusters episode. Another special edition. A meat popsicle. Rock/Paper/Scissors. Aliens that all look like people with different kinds of bumps on their heads. Gorram Reavers. Anakin in the prequels. Rob Liefeld's inability to draw feet/people. The remarkable number of red-haired women in comic books. Lens flare. Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Some badass archery. The Kessel Run. Being certain you and your friends are what keeps the local pizza place in business. A robot that looks like a person, but shinier. Trying for the Harry Potter look and landing quarely on John Lennon. ID-10/t error. Reciting the Litany Against Fear to psych yourself up. Traveling in single file to hide your numbers. The Jedi Code. "I can kill you with my brain." Liquid Schwartz. The singularity. Wishing ESPN8 "The Ocho" was real. Putting your hood up and pretending you're a Jedi. When the movie is nothing like the book. Solving for x. Using any reference to "The One Ring" in a romantic way. Waiting for your Hogwarts acceptance letter. Code on a screen in a movie. Min/Maxing. Excessive Snopes-Linking. The Throne of Games. The blue screen of death. Snape, Snape, Severus Snape. 42, Duh. A basement full of sweaty nerds. Moool-ti-pass. Acting all smug because you read the books and you know what's coming. Learning to swear in Mandarin Chinese. Defending "The Big Bang Theory". A switch labeled "more magic". mv2 A small thermal exhaust port only two meters wide. Your sudden but inevitable betryal. Explosions in space. The spinning beach ball. A movie so boring even the trees walked. Dobby's sock. Realizing the Ms. Pac-Man might just be Pac-Man in drag. Spocks's brain. Breaking the fourth wall. "Have you tried turning it off and back on again?" Moisture farmers. Stop motion animation. The Diva Plavalaguna. Vogon poetry. Mercury fulminate. Nathan Fillion's Twitter feed. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords. The entire series on DVD. Literally biting your tongue to keep yourself from revealing spoilers. Midi-f**king-chlorians. Another stupid vampire movie. My pretty floral bonnet. A mutant whose only power seems to be changing the TV channels with his brain. Refusing to watch a movie after Neil deGrasse Tyson has ripped it to pieces. Doing tech support for your parents, forever. Falling through two perfectly aligned portals forever. Benedict Cumberbatch, Robert Downy Jr., and Jonny Lee Miller, all in one room. The mysterious ticking noise. A very cunning hat. Patrick Stewart's twitter feed. A 7-sided die. The Hawkeye initiative. An amazingly well-trained phoenix. A wicked hot young Magneto. A secret identity everybody knows about. Chewbacca not getting a medal. Global find and replace. Picard's Barber. Hodor, Hodor, Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor. Papyrus, or Comic Sans, or both. Pizza the Hutt. That time everyone thought you were the Heir of Slytherin. Having more LARP/Renn Faire clothes than regular clothes. When Fox cancels your favorite show. Pon farr. Hitting it until it works. Fursonas. A raccoon with a machine gun. Percussive maintenance. A grail-shaped beacon. Not being shocked by the Red Wedding. Not seeing the irony in using the word "marathon" for watching a lot of television. Bring shocked by the Red Wedding. Fuzzy little tentacles. "Make it so." Resenting "The Big Bang Theory". Sanctimonious Mac Users. The way Commander Riker gets into chairs. An SPF so high its basically just white paint. Sexy green aliens. Land's sweet 'stache. Sad devotion to an ancient religion. BLACK CARDS You're rolling up a new character. You put the most points into... I swear by _______, I will end you. In space, no one can hear ___________. How did I lose all my Facebook friends? In the next movie, for a change, Kirk will have sex with ___________. Who's scruffy looking? Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for _________. The best/worst thing about your friend's homebrew game system is..... An online quiz told me I am _________. As social outcasts, we're accepting of everyone, unless you're into __________. Why am I dripping with goo? What does "ecto gammat" mean? Hodor? I've seen the best minds of my generation destroyed by ____________. The worst injustice in the history of cinema was __________. Kinetic energy is best described as _____________. What did you do, Ray? What is the Force? You dawg, we heard you like _________, so we put some __________, in your __________. (All the same card) I once played an invincible Mage who could only be killed by ________. I made fun of Aquaman until I found out he was __________. That's no moon; it's _____________. Why doesn't Hollywood understand how computers work? The next hit YA series features a teenage girl who gets involved with ______________. You should know, nerds are ______ in the streets, but _________ in the sheets. PICK 2 This week on Mythbusters: Does _______ really lead to ___________? PICK 2 What did MacGyver use to defuse the bomb? PICK 2 TK-421, why aren't you at your post? What do you get if you multiply 6 by 9? My new LARP character is as smart as ______ and as charming as __________. PICK 2 Our brave hero is saved by a deus ex machina, in the form of ________. I'm allergic to _________. I'm a Hufflepuff! I'll start doing sports as soon as __________ is considered a sport. We all know Jubilee is pointless, but the worst mutant is actually ________. "Are you classified as human?" "Negative, I am _________." Cosplay just isn't cosplay if it doesn't involve ___________. I was sent to the school psychologist because I wrote a paper about ___________. Everything I ever needed to know I learned by watching _____________. What did I wear to ComicCon? If Science Fiction has taught me anything, it's never trust ________. You need to read my new fanfic! It's about _____________. The girls/boys will come running when they realize I have _________. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of __________. When I added these smuggling compartments, I never thought I'd be smuggling _________. You think you're upset now? Wait until Ben Affleck is cast to play ______. The last time I ran a LARP, I killed five characters with __________. The Sworn Brothers of the Wall really like __________. When I was vying for the Iron Throne, I didn't know it would involve __________. Band Camp? Psh! I went to _________ camp. What did I get my ass kicked for in school? ____________/__________ slash fiction. PICK 2 Tonight on Mythbusters, we tackle the big one.... There is no Dana, only __________.